She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
