Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
