i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I understand Curling. That high.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
did you just send me my own nude
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
