He asked to "fluff my boner.."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
