he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
