what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
