making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
