She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
