Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
