fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize