Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
