i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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