we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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