final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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