you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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