So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
