? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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