She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
