are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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