i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I didn't shave. On purpose
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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