So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
