you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
