just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize