Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
