i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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