thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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