She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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