but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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