I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
