fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
