On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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