you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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