I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
