You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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