i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
