Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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