she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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