i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize