mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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