forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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