remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
