Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
