Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
