Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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