Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
