Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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