I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize