How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
