I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
