Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
