it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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