Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
