I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
