On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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