dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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