his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
