A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize