my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I had to cum in my sink.
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