I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Let's get the cat blown out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
