I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
