no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
