I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
