your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
