are you still at the devil's house?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
