i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize