Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Lo siento on account of my penis...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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