What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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