I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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